This post is following a twitter battle I had concerning Addek vs. MerDer
Well, it was argued that Addison brought out the “cutsey” side of Derek… when? All I saw throughout the 2nd season pertaining to Addison, Derek and Meredith was sadness, bad sex and heartbreak. When he’s with Meredith, Derek’s eyes light up and he’s happy. He dances, they have hot sex… With Addison, his eyes had a grayish downcast and he always looked teary. Also, they never had good sex, showing the lack of physical chemistry which was sprung from the lack of love. Addison even told Meredith on the phone, thinking she was the vet (who doesn’t deserve a name), that they were trying to have good sex.
“I can’t compete. He’s not having an affair. He’s not trying to hurt me. He’s just… the only people who don’t know that Derek loves Meredith are Derek and Meredith. How do I compete with that?”
By the end Addison realizes that Derek doesn’t really even love her anymore.
“I want you to care. I sleep with your best friend, and you walk away. Then he comes out here from New York and rubs it in your face, and you still get a good night’s sleep. What do I have to do? Oh, I know. Maybe what I should do is go out on a date with the vet, because that seems to be something that sends you into a blinding rage. Oh, but wait. That won’t work either because I’m not Meredith Grey.”
Addison also chose to ignore that Derek probably really fell out of love with her after she cheated on him with Mark.
In general, MerDer is a stronger couple. Sure they had their issues but that was because Meredith had a horrible childhood, making it understandable that she had some trust issues and abandonment issues. With Ellis Grey as a mother and the little bitch, Thatcher Grey for a father you can see where her problems would spring from. But, their love was strong and true. And unbreakable vow that only got separated by a bitch horsefaced little tart who doesn’t deserve a name. Derek didn’t love her at all. She was just a desperate little thing and during sex, he thought about Meredith the WHOLE time.
Some questions posed by an Addek fan:
If he had no love for Addison, why were they married for 11 years? Well, he had no love her her after she cheated on Mark, before? Sure. He wrote her a freaking idiotic song.
If his love for Meredith was so amazing and true than why did he call her a whore? Jealousy makes us do bad things. And, when we’re angry (jealous in this case) we take it out on the ones we love because we know they’ll stand by us. Example: 5×17 (in my opinion, one of the best representations of Meredith’s growth and the strength of MerDer)
Why did he pick Addison over Meredith? If he really truly loved Meredith so much at that time, he would’ve divorced Addison right away and been with Meredith if his love for her was so powerful. I know he felt like he was obligated to try, but he would’ve picked Meredith in the first place if he truly felt nothing for Addison anymore. Well, Derek is a good guy. He’s freaking McDreamy. If he’d picked Meredith originally he would have failed himself and not even put up a fight. Obligation is the right word. He was obligated to try with Addison, his WIFE, because Derek Christopher Shepherd is a good guy. And he still loved her even if he wasn’t in love with her so he felt that he had the relationship, making his act worse, and she deserved for him to at least try.
Few more parting notes:
a) When Derek found Mark and Addison he just walks out. When he sees Mark TALKING to Meredith, he punches him out.
“It’s funny. Derek walks in on me naked with his wife, and just turns around and walks away. But then he sees me so much as talking to you, and I’m on the ground bleeding. Interesting, don’t you think?”
b) Going back to 5×17. Watch it, learn it, love it, interpret it.
– So what team are you? You can only be one.
Addek vs. MerDer
So Live Your Life 
Merder for the fucking win!! 😀 were a good team!!
Merder, you know that!!! I totally agree with you that there never really was a relationship (at least that we saw of) between Derek and Addi. In fact to me it seems like they have a better relationship now than they did towards the beginning when she first showed. I like Addi as a person don’t get me wrong, I think she’s nice and gorgeous (I didn’t at first, but I do now), she was just never right for Derek, I mean come on even his mom said that!
Now, Meredith, like you said his eyes light up and he gets his McDreamy look every time she walks in the freakin room, and much like Addi from season 2 I would kill for those smiles and looks!! But they have a true chemisty, something I’m sure we would all kill for!!!
I could give you an essay arguing against every single one of your answers, but honestly I don’t think it’s worth the effort.
I’m going to try to keep this from becoming a Derek bashing comment.
I’m sorry, but “in general merder is a stronger couple.” Bahahaha. That’s hilarious. Addek has 11 years on merder. Meredith and Derek began as a one night stand who didn’t even know each other’s names. Also, their relationship is based on a lie. I’m not going to say I want Addison with Derek because I don’t. Derek is pretty much a horrible and manipulative man, and I have been sitting here trying to think of HOW Addison survived 11 years with him before turning to Mark and decided that this arrogance must have grown during their marriage as the band geek persona disappeared and he became a more gifted surgeon, so I can understand Addie falling for the cute but awkward band geek who wrote her a song. How Meredith could fall in love with such a narcissistic, mean person, I don’t know. Okay, going off on a tangent.
Calling the addek song idiotic is juvenile because YOU KNOW that you would adore it had Derek written it about Meredith.
Pinning all of their couple problems on Meredith’s childhood is ridiculous. My mother tried to commit suicide. My father was an abusive alcoholic, who left when I was small. Their issues are bigger than just a screwed up childhood. Every time one of them gets closer, the other pulls away, not just Meredith. It’s actually usually Derek.
I just have to say that real love does not involve blackmail. Meredith uses the fact that they’re “married” to make Derek do what she wants and Derek goes and uses her friends against her. That isn’t right. If you love someone, you do not manipulate them like that.
Oh, and the Derek punching Mark for talking to Meredith-He punched Mark because that was his first time seeing Mark since that night!
There’s no point in arguing with you because you won’t change your ways and your ‘OMG, BUT MERDER ARE LIKE MEANT TO BE BECAUSE THEY ARE LIKE SO AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND DEREK IS MCDREAMY AND THEY’RE PERFECT” thinking will continue to be the same. I just need to say that Derek is in no way a good man. He actually kind of gets worse as the show goes on.